Sixty-three hours ago I started some beautiful short ribs cooking sous vide. I thought a little Saturday night fancy food would be great. Now, with nine hours of cooking left, all I want is comfort food. Fried chicken and macaroni and cheese to be exact.
Sixteen hours ago my husband and I made the decision to euthanize our dog Jones. His health had been declining. He’s suffered from hip dysplasia for years and years and in the last few weeks he had started falling. A lot. He’d be walking in from outside and his back legs would just collapse beneath him. Our hardwood floors didn’t help the situation. Over the last year we’d placed rugs throughout the house in all of his favorite spots so that he could get up and down, but we could tell it was getting to hard for him to get around.
Not that he would ever tell us though. Jones was best described as simple. As long as he had food and head scratches he was just happy to be. You know how towards the end of Marley and Me John Grogan asks Marley “you’ll let me know when it’s time, right?”, well, we knew Jones would never tell us when it was time. He would keep smiling and wagging his tail until it was too late.
So when we woke up yesterday and he couldn’t stand, much less walk we took that as a sign. For selfish reasons, we had been putting off the conversation until after Christmas. But we know that we couldn’t put it off anymore. We made the decision.
Jones had a good last day. While my husband had to go to work in the morning for a meeting, I sat with him in the living room doing my best to keep him calm and happy. When my husband came home Jones got to enjoy a rawhide, followed by a couple of ice cubes (one of his favorite treats that we had to stop giving him a few years ago because his teeth were breaking) and a few chocolate chip cookies while we waited for the vet to arrive. There were lots of scratches and many tears as we said goodbye. You can’t help but wonder if you are making the right decision, but ultimately we know this was the best thing for Jones.
So tonight, while Jones is reunited with his old pal Cuba for a game a chase at the Rainbow Bridge, we’ll set the fancy food aside. Sorrow calls for comfort and comfort calls for mac and cheese.